The Constant Need Of Becoming Perfect

We all have our version of what a perfect person is. Psychologists often call it the ‘Ideal Self’. Sometimes this ideal self is someone who is the best at math. Sometimes it is someone who is their parents’ favorite child. Sometimes it is someone who knows everything about everything.


The point is that we all have a ‘perfect’ someone in our mind and we spend most of our life trying to stand up to those standards. Unfortunately, the most of us don’t succeed.

The thing is that from the very beginning of our life, we are influenced by our surroundings. Our family teaches us basic activities like walking, running and talking. As we grow, they teach us manners and social norms one must follow for the society to us as a part of it. Our school imparts basic education by teaching us how to read and write. Apart from that, educational institutes teach us how to form opinions and ideas about anything and everything. Even our peers and friends influence our lives in several ways. As a result, we continuously form ideas in our minds. We constantly contribute to the level of standards we ‘must’ follow. Even after doing a crazy amount of hard work we are unable to become that person. It is because we set unrealistic goals for ourselves and focus on all those things that we aren’t. We want to become someone else. Someone who is ‘perfect’ according to our ideals. So, where are we going wrong?

Why is it that the percentage of successful people is less? It is because they embrace their uniqueness. They accept themselves as they are. They know their strong points and put the same level of hard work into that and become successful in that area. They improve themselves not because the society expects them to. But because they want to. They don’t want to become perfect! They just want to become the best version of themselves. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all do the same thing? Yes, we won’t become perfect. But we will be happy and contempt with ourselves. It can take, weeks, months, even years! But when we do get there, it will be a thousand times better than that ‘perfect’!

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

– Marilyn Monroe

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