When we see someone who is always happy we think “Wow, he/she is a mentally strong person.” Or when we come across a person who always looks consistently calm we think “Yeah, she/he can control his emotions which means they are mentally strong.”
But these are not the traits on the basis of which we can understand who is truly mentally strong. There are a number of small things that give away a person who is truly mentally strong. Let’s look at these traits now.
1. Acknowledge all emotions (including negative). This means that people who are actually mentally strong, allow themselves to feel all emotions without controlling them. This is because they somewhere in their mind know that bottling up their emotions is only going to harm them in future. If they are sad, they will look sad. If they are ecstatic, they will look ecstatic. If they are confused, they will show that they are confused.
2. Don’t live in the past. They like to live in the present and get ready for there future. Yes, they might have regrets. But they don’t dwell in their past mistakes or critical moments. In fact, they learn from their past and think, “Yes, I was like this. Yes, I did this. It was wrong.” As they say this, they also look into ways through which they can change that particular behavior that cause them the regret.
3. Not easily influenced by others. They stand by their morals in a way, that it becomes sufficient anyone to influence them. A simple example can be peer pressure. For example, a girl knows and believes that smoking and drinking is bad for health. When she enters college her friends might pressurize her into trying to smoke or drink. Now if she is mentally strong she will stand by her morals by saying ‘no’ to them. Not only will she say ‘no’, she will also try to make her friends quit.
3. Don’t let others overstep their boundaries. Mentally strong people are always aware of their boundaries. It maybe social, personal or professional. They set their own boundaries. It is a good thing for their well being. They know where the line is and make sure they don’t cross it. Neither do they allow others to cross it. Setting boundaries doesn’t make them dismissive or cold. By setting up boundaries they actually form healthier relationships. This in a way makes them more caring and supportive. As they know their boundaries, they don’t overstep them and as a result don’t feel emotionally drained.
5. Not rigid with their own perspective. We know that mentally strong people have a strong sense of self. But it doesn’t mean that they are not open to new perspective. They even re-evaluate their perspective from time to time just to make sure they are not on the wrong path. And if they think that they are, they are always ready to accept new ideas and beliefs which they feel can help them grow. They like to listen other people’s perspective as they know that this helps them grow.
6. Don’t blame others for their mistakes. When they know that they are in the wrong, they don’t shy away from accepting them. They don’t blame others for their mistakes. By doing this, they acknowledge that they were in the wrong and show their willingness to correct their mistake in any way possible. They also don’t blame themselves for self pity. They know that they are mentally strong and don’t desire anyone to be sympathetic towards them. They don’t like special treatment by indirectly asking for pity from others.
7. They are not perfectionists. They don’t stick to doing a particular thing until it’s perfect. They like a little space for improvement in whatever they are doing. They view failures in a healthy way and continuously work on themselves to correct their mistakes. They don’t want to be perfect. They want to be the ‘better version’ of themselves everyday. This, again shows that they wake up every morning with the thought of bettering themselves at something instead of becoming perfect.
8. Not scared of being in their own company. Many people don’t like to stay alone with their thoughts because they are afraid of their mind bringing up stuff from the past and ultimately leading them to overthink. Mentally strong people not only not dread their own company but they also even enjoy it. They view this time period as a way to self reflect. They have honest conversations with themselves and develop good habits. In this time, they read books that make them feel good and motivated. They pick up a hobby and stay positive. In short, they embrace themselves and are not scared of being alone.
Are there any such traits that match with yours? If yes, you are a step ahead of becoming mentally strong! If you feel like you can’t relate to these traits at all, although you have a long way to go, you are going to achieve this state of mind if you truly believe that you can! Mention in the comments section what was your ‘oh! This is me!’ moment!